.:mylife:.

Fear

2009-10-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

I went to Charms house today(: It was really great and awesome to meet a old friend again. It was just like the old days where we crapped and eat whatever we want to...

The movie was great, I was replaying my past in PL when i was watching it.

I realised...
I miss the times I could just say 'I miss you' to my friends without feeling weird.
I miss the times we all just sit there and stone with all the girls.

I miss all the weird stuff you will never have even thought about when they existed.
Like the times we snatched 8days, the times we just sleep during classes and the times when we sneak food into classes. secretly texting on the phone ,hoping ziqi won't catch us.

Somehow when I think back, I miss everything,everyone. I am finally going to meet with my clique soon(: Can't wait.

We crapped through lunch and went to her hse to watch Wolverine(: Though it was a old movie, it was good because i am watching it with a old friend(: Charm's mum is the BEST MUM EVER! Love her mum! HAHA

Stupid JOJO could make it for the date! Can't blame her becuase she have to study for chinese A's:( We finally came up with a place to eat after discussing on the phone. Went to Dhoby and had dinner with JO.

Ate at cafe cartel and talked like mad. I confessed my fear for relationships,and both of them said that there's nothng to be scared of?

I don't know if thats true. I am still scared of it? The 'little me' is always wanting to know what it means to be loved by someone. Other then my family members.
But as i grew older, the little girl in me is slowly disappearing. I don't know if i can trust love.

I am scared.

I am scared that I'll lose you if i said that 3 words.

Maybe I shouldn't think so much? But I am afraid of taking this first step.

Will you stand by me throught this? Will you even say yes?

I am afraid that you will say no.

Maybe I just don't want to know the answer.

I just want to run.

2009-09-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

hello world!

i am back to blog(: I am super sorry for being inconsistent in my blog entry. But oh wells! i figured that since stoning and blogging wastes the same amt of time, why not blog? haha.

Today i woke up at 10.50 plus because my teeth were hurting from the retainers and my phone was buzzing/vibrating away. I grabbed the phone and realised LULU called me 4 times and now its her 5th time. HAHA me being me i picked up and hang up.HAHAH I KNOW I AM MEAN.

finally she called me aagain and asked me where to meet her. I told her i will be ther at 12? In the end i reached hougang library at 12.30! sry lulu!

then we bought some food and went to her house to tutor her chinese(: I CAN TEACH CHINESE OK! haha. I went to her hse kope food and milo and some other stuff before we went to her room to study.

but it wasn't really sucessful cos she only ask me the meanings of idioms and stuff we keeo sidetracking and gossiping abt stuff lols. She still have no idea on how to prep for chi promos. HAHA. LULU the chi idiot.

Anw we spent our time doodling jap, gossiping ,eating and drinking and rotting. singing to songs while she did her chi and her econs. haha. I basically wasted my whole day at her house.

Before I reached home. I saw Brandon! That stupid boy came to me and give his stupid signature pose. -.- Oh well, at least he was nice enought to carry all my library books to my hse . Thanks alot brandon! HAHA.

Came home and had dinner. Mum was being... herself again. Urgh. At least I borrowed some books to keep myself out of trouble and keep her out of my sight...
I don't know why am i still tolerating her PMS-ING and her nonsense for so long..

Anw, I am wasting my whole night eating away and i am still eating like a pig now. HAHA. I gtg now.before my dear mother starts to death glare at me.

Will promise to blog more the next time(:

Rachelle (:

2009-09-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

"Cry"

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

[Chorus:]
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

[Chorus]

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken heart and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

[x2]
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

blehh

2009-09-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

i am tired but i can't sleep.
I am aching all over. URGH. I think i should blog abt something tmr.
Today is such a bleh...i don't know...
My brain is not functioning again.

bye people

Emmotional Endearvours.

2009-09-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

Today was overall alright woke up at 9 to get ready to go to school at 11. I have no idea why i woke up so early as well. I stoned for 10 mins on my bed before I really woked up. Brushed my teeth and eat breakfast at snails speed my head was still spinning from talking on the phone till 3 in the morning. Just randomly picked some clothes and put them on without even noticing the color was so gross. It looked like I was wearing some seaweed on me. But anyway, i realised it when i board the bus. Too late. I wish i had a jacket to cover up. I didn't comb my hair again!I didn't bother to comb my hair since it doesn't tangle much. (YES LAZY ME,but i normally don't even comb it HAHA)

It started raining even before I reached school. Waited for Rachel darlin cos she was late. We went to the LT tgt and she fell down on the stairs! Poor girl! Then we just sat there for the briefing and talked about random stuff. She knocked against my head twice lols hazardous Rachel. Then we got spilt into our groups and discussed on stuffs... BLAH BLAH BLAH About 30-45 mins later we could go home!
I made friends with one of the girls in my group. She's vanessa(:
She funny and nice and cute. We kept talking during the bus ride. Seems like I won't feel left out in my group afterall. Went to bishan to buy my usual stationaries. I kept spacing out cos I had some inspiration in the POPULAR in bishan but i didn't bring my pen or notebook. DARN IT!

Everything was going on fine until I saw him. His face and his eyes.
I turned my head away,hoping that he didn't see me. It was a beautiful day until I saw him.

I went home trying to recall what my inspirations and I started to write them. But halfway through his face flashed into my mind. Feeling irritated, I threw my book to the corner and try to recover my thoughts. It didn't work. Shit. Thats bad.

Went out to Orchard Ion alone because I missed my date with Belle,partly also to sort out my thoughts and do some shopping to distract myself. It didn't work. The crowd only made me more irritable and agitated. I nearly walked out of the shop without paying for the shirt i didn't even want to buy. The jumpsuit i wanted to buy was too big for me.

Giving up because of the long queue I went to Hilfiger because there was less/nobody inside. Didn't find the shirt I wanted. In the end I went to Artbox, thinking that no one would go there. At first there were only a few people but when i walked in other people started to swarm in. Maybe I am at the wrong place at the wrong time. It friday anyway, the crowd should be normal, I guess? Bought 2 notebooks for future intellectual investment. Since my now notebook is about to finish.

Sat at Starbucks and stare at couples holding hands while I spaced out again into my own world. Writing random anti-love phrases on my notebook. I got a brainfreeze from the frap and decided I should start walking again. Went to ZARA the shoes I wanted was gone. I wanted a cheap loafer. But don't know where to get it.

Bought CLEO mag on the way home because I didn't see any ELLE or VOGUE. I sat down on my chair. Thinking that going to ION was a good distraction after all, but it wasn't because I still have the urge to cry. Is it because I feel lonely inside or is it because of him I don't exactly know. Maybe its both.

I have never been so emmotional. Even when I saw him previous times.
But today, looking at him just makes my heart ache. I tried so hard to forget, yet the very moment he smiles at me, everything just come swarming back.
His smile is just like a dagger,stabbing deep deep down into my already wounded heart.
Why is this happening to me? If liking someone was this painful like the last time,i really regret doing such a stupid thing. Again.

Seems like i haven't learnt from my other lessons.
Dont' ask me for another chance, because I gave you a chance and you threw it away. Don't tell me that you love me anymore. I don't believe in you, or your words anymore. It hurts so much just to hear to talk. So please go away and stop my misery.

You were just a dream, it happened so suddenly and beautifully.
It was all an illusion. When the beautiful veil was taken off, you were just a nightmare.
You were cruel and heartless, I don't know if I should believe in you once again.
Oh Love, what a vicious drug. Stop killing my heart. I don't want to believe in you anymore.
Until you prove to me you are beautiful and harmless.

Listening to " Last Dance" by Nina really makes me want to cry. Somehow the lyrics speaks my mind right now at this moment. I have a tendency to listen to sad songs. But this one was... I don't really know how to tell you...The truth really hurts, but its better than the lie... Maybe I should stop talking about it. I need to distract myself and not cry. whats wrong with me today? My heart and brain is dysfunctioning. I need some sugar. NOW.

It doesn't matter anymore. I just need sleep and more rock music.

i wish everything could start from the beginning

2009-02-09T01:39:00.000-08:00

Hihi! I'm back to post something!:D:D

Had steamboat at Tiffany's house! We sat there for like 2 whole hrs eating when the other ppl were already back in the house! HAHA! We have really big stomach isn't it?

Anw, after the steamboat we played mahjong! Huiling and Tiffany won 5 rounds!!!!
I only won 2:(
We had such a great time!!! I am going to miss them so much><

Omo! Tezuka's playing! I gtg!

Sayo!

Rachelle:)

2008-02-15T06:05:00.000-08:00

Leo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're almost always the center of attention - and easy for potential dates to spot

Your happiness and optimism is appealing to all... and contagious!

You don't hold grudges - getting over little fights is no problem for you

Your negative traits:

You tend to ignore relationship problems, until they are too big to handle

You crave luxury, and you are disappointed with partners who can't provide you with it

If someone does you wrong, you'll coldly and cruelly break their heart

Your ideal partner:

Someone high status enough to bring you more attention - but not so great that they upstage you

Makes you laugh and brings excitement to everything you do together

Is aggressive and confident enough to butt heads with you every so often

Your dating style:

High expectations. You need to be impressed with an incredible first date for a second one to occur.

Your seduction style:

You like to make the first move - you're fearless about initiating things

Passionate. You really get into any intimate act.

Aggressive. Most of the time, you find yourself wanting sex more than your partner.

Tips for the future:

Try to not need so much attention. You'll feel less ignored, guaranteed.

Learn to love your partner for who they are - not how they help advance your life.

Let your partner shine occasionally. You don't always have to be the alpha dog.

Best color to attract mate: Gold

Best day for a date: Sunday

What's Your Love Profile?

HELLO!

2007-11-18T05:06:00.000-08:00

woohoo! I finally updated my blog! It has been abandoned since...I don't know ><

Anyway. I updated!

I have been slacking during the holidays and look at the PILE of homework I need to finish!!!

-Physics
-Chem
-English

and moremore more...

I don't know how am I going to finsh it at this rate...

Oh! I just put on braces.Lols its painful ):

I just went to read ZY'S blog!! Heehee...

What she say is really true... Somehow everything now seem like yesterday. Time really files!
Like her,I really don't feel like facing the o lvl's and everything.

But reality just can't be escaped. I still have to do O lvls and go through evrything... I also hope I can do well next year and get into a JC I can go...

I have been babbling so much isn't it? Lol

I want to go for TVXQ concert!!! Why can't they just go taiwan abit later.I am going taiwan on the 25th!! Can't wait...

thats all for today! Heehee byebye:)

eh?

2007-07-07T06:50:00.001-07:00

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

i guess i am abnormal then....

2007-06-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

LOLS!I am back to blog.

Tommorrow is sec 4 farewell.I know i am really going to miss my seniors and what they have done for us.

I am going to miss them,alot.

I feel like crying....

Ok.nvm.I shall save my tears for tommorow.

Ok.I realised i still have some homework not done.Actually,most of them

ENGLISH
HIGHER CHI
PHY
CHEM
BIO

someone save me...

2007-05-30T07:47:00.005-07:00

HEY GUYS!I AM BACK TO BLOG!After so long...haha

Tho it's kinda late to say this,but i really,really enjoyed myself in the class outing.Cheryl and people(including me)had fun taking photos in the outing.

Cheryl loves the toilet.I donnoe why.Lol...

So we end up taking picutres in the toilet,coz i didn't bring my camera and cheryl is the one who has a cam.So yeah.HAHA

The funny part is,Vivenne dropped a packet drink into the swimming pool.And I tried getting it for her.

However.MISSION IS UNSUCCESSFUL.

Cheryl went to ask a swimmer to egt the drink from the pool.It was really embarrasing.

I was totally wet.LOL

Later ,the Rachels and charis and us,went to the baby pool to play for awhile.IT WAS FUN!

Went back to the adult pool,sat by the side of the pool and dipped our feet in.It was also nice.Me and Doro started to talk abt fanfic.Lols

I went to the BBQ pit got some marshmallows and went back to the pool.

Then went to the playground and played the hanging pol thingy.LOL.I like it tho.

Time to clean up.After clearing we went to the baby pool and had some dunking of people and taking of phots.

Time to go home.But Cheryl was still taking pics in the toilet.LOL

Later we chatted for awhile and all of us went in our seperate ways.AWW SO SAD!

I got a lift from Dorothy LULU.And Yanlin was complaining and telling to me abt SOMEONE.

HAHA.Doro's dad came to pick us up.BY the time both of us were really high.

I think Doro's dad was thinking:

We happnened to both of them?

But still i enjoyed the whole thing!I love it!

2007-05-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

u can take the quiz here:http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2007-02-03T08:00:00.001-08:00

boo!!!hahah

2007-01-11T05:53:00.001-08:00

Hey guys,I am back to blog...

Sorry for not updating my blog regularly,i have many things to do and sometimes,my mom refuse to allow me to touch the com.

I really think sometimes my mouth can be a little too straightforward and it tends to hurt people.Sometimes people get offended,misunderstood,but i really didn't mean it.Well,i think really made tiffany really upset this week.I didn't mean to blame her,i was half teasing/angry but i wasn't blaming her for anything...However,she got upset and refused to talk to me.

I am really sure it was my fault,so i wrote a letter to apologise.I really hope she will forgive me.

for those who hates me,you all will be really happy to see what i am about to write now:

WHY I SUCK?
-i am irritating
-i am too noisy
-i make people angry
-i suck times infinitety...

I hope those who hate me see my blog and laugh their hearts out,i hope they are happy seeing me self-insulting.

2007-01-11T05:53:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,I am back to blog...

Sorry for not updating my blog regularly,i have many things to do and sometimes,my mom refuse to allow me to touch the com.

I really think sometimes my mouth can be a little too straightforward and it tends to hurt people.Sometimes people get offended,misunderstood,but i really didn't mean it.Well,i think really made tiffany really upset this week.I didn't mean to blame her,i was half teasing/angry but i wasn't blaming her for anything...However,she got upset and refused to talk to me.

I am really sure it was my fault,so i wrote a letter to apologise.I really hope she will forgive her.

for those who hates me,you all will be really happy to see what i am about to write now:

WHY I SUCK?
-i am irritating
-i am too noisy
-i make people angry
-i suck times infinitety...

I hope those who hate me see my blog and laugh their hearts out,i hope they are happy seeing me self-insulting.

2006-12-23T07:23:00.000-08:00

hey guys!I am finally back from taiwan!!!weeeeeeeeeeee!!!super happy today!haha...
i think i ate something wrong..LOL

I went to amanda's house,watching Band Of Brothers & played DOA....Tiffany was hungry all the time...HAHA SUPER FUNNY.

then we went to huilng's hse to see her play maple....Then she got a stomach ache....
when i went into the hse,i SAW JOSH HARTNETT'S MAGAZINE!!!!WOOOO!!!JOSH HARTNETT...MY DARLING...LOLS

i started reading the mag,amanda and huiling playing maple,totally oblivious of my sticking my head into magazine...i gelt like stealing the mag home....

super funny.then huiling brought out some wasabi nuts,amanda ate it and she started coughing...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....then i ate it,i nearly spit the thing out.LOLS

tomoo#rrow will be real FUN...GOING TO MUMMY'S HSE!PARTYPARTY"!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I AM GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF....waiting for zhenyi to come online....

2006-11-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

me and friends
jojo and me

after the class outing,after the sleepover.I seem to realisehow much i would miss everyone.It has been two years together...Why must we seperate??
i am sure i am gonna miss 2a2...ALOT.

i am gonna miss jodie,tiffany,zhenyi,amanda,huiling,our whole clique...Especially tiffany and judith's crap....thinking of these,i just feel like crying.But i realise life still has to go on despite what ever happens.Just like wad T.T said,we cant just stop the earth for one person.
But i will miss everyone,the closeness of our clique...It seems that i ddin't treasured the relationship when i was still had the chance.

I am surely gonna miss amanda,her anti-petrucci and hit-petrucci-with-guitar and stuff like that.I am gonna miss shouting at her,going to her house and the frequent cat-fights we had in class...

AND charmaine's narcisism
Though we have to seperate but i know they will still be embedded in my heart.... i will miss u guys forever...

I LOVE 2A2!!!!<3<3>

2006-10-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

haha...finally got myself a new pair of shoes...woohoo...going out with friends tmr!!!yeah!!!

2006-10-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Now...finally i updated my blog..haha.It seems so ancient now,i have never been touching it after the exams...Now,wad should i update abt?let me think...

Oh yeah,I started playing maple...lol.It seems kinda nice to play...but,i couldn't figure out how to jump...-__-''I only figured it out today.(note:i called 3 people and ask them how to jump,but with no sucess...).

I got back my exam results.Its kinda disappointing...But some of my friends said that i am just taking it a little too hard..i guess...But the subjects that i think i could score didn't score as well as i expected...how disappointing.I put my option as 1.1 .really hop i can get into my dream combo,triple sci...But now all i can do it wait...

2006-08-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

Now here am i sitiing here asking shiying and jodie to tag/flood my blog.But here they are,flooding my blog full of mr *sniff sniff* likes me!!!Wad the...I just feel like killing them now.they nearly made me cry.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Ok now shiying is tagging jojo's blog,asking everyone to go to my blog...how nice.i just donnoe wad to do now...

Oh yeah,today i got back my results.It was really bad.I only got 74.9 for average!!!0.1 marks to A1. So low!!!!Now here am i sitting here to reflect on my blunder(being so stupid).I just feel like hitting my head on the wall.
Look at my results:English -B3
Science -A1
.......................................i don want to say anymore....It's just disappointing.

If I analysed my results one by one.Though there was a big improvement for my math and englsih.but i am really not satisfied.For HCL,i didn't managed to clinch the top....I just feel so irritated and i have set my mind to work SUPER DUPER HARD FOR MY HIGHER CHINESE!!!soooo stressed up now.

Anyway,just now charmaine was showing me,jojo,esther some horny and sick emails she got from her U.K friends.Ewwww,disgusting.Then,here am i having a cat fight with esther coz i slapped her face due my boredemess...hahah.

I gtg for phototaking soon.I just wanted a comb to comb my hair and Charmaine and Jodie is saying that i am so vain!!!!I am not VAIN.I just needed a comb to comb my hair coz my hair looks like a LIONHEAD now....I really feel like washing my hair right now.It is so sticky...but nvm....

Ok i think i better do my geograhphy homework now...

I also found out my name ,Rachelle,means Little lamb.So cool!!!i am a lamb hahaha...lol

I hate you for loving me and making me love you,it is such a painful process.But now i have freedom and i shall live alone in the dark,without ur love.

2006-08-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

Seriously,i really feel like cursing someone right now.But,I don think i have the right to do anything as it is my own fault.Actually,it's both people's fault.Guess what?I got back my geography paper,and found out that i only get 17/25 for my geog.How nice.

Besides blaming myself for being so careless,i find that it was also someone's fault.SOMEONE.If she did teach us our geography instead of crapping about what she did in other countries,i think we could have gotten a better mark,really.I am not trying to blame anyone about anything,but only if she would understand.When i got back my paper,a gush of feelings just came flowing out,both anger and guilt.I feel angry because she didn't teach us what is supposed to be tested.She only taught us the bearings A DAY BEFORE THE EXAM!!!Okay,maybe I am being to emmotional.I think I should also blame myself,for being so careless and ignorant in everything....

This week wasn't a very great week for me cause I have been feeling very uncomfortable.I told my parents about it and they advised me to rest.I did but i still came to school.I really don't know what's happening to me right now,i am feeling very tired right now.Is it because I am being too paranoid or am i really having a flu?I seriously don't know.I hope I am not sick...I am scared that Dad will bring me to go for checkup.I don't want checkups,i don't want the tube going into my throat and everything.It seem like i am really ill,maybe I had bronchitis or something.I don't feel good.I felt thinner and thinner everyday,I can see my ribcage alrdy.I don't know,everytime i eat food,I feel like puking...Maybe I ate too much?Actually i also donnoe...haha.I was aneresic before,i am just scared it would come back to me again.I don't want to live in the shadows of my past...I don't want it to come back to me...

Okay,let's talk abt something else.Have you ever felt this before?You feel rejected and living in the world of your own?there are one friends from my class that have this problem.(I don't mean to point out any individuals).I have a frined that sank into a very deep depression,she created a blog to show her true self.Though i see her as a cheerful girl from the outside.I know that she wasn't happy about herslf,though she was trying to be cheerful,depression seem to take over her,being in charge of her mind.

I saw her writing depressed phrases in her notebook.Initially,i thought it was just merely for fun,until i heard and saw her playing with penknife and saying that she want to cut herslef.I really hope that she doesn't do anything stupid,coz when i was on MSN yesterday,she told me she haven't been eating for 35 hrs!I was shocked but couldn't do anything but tell her to eat,she didn't listen to me,but i prayed hard that lord will give her the strength to be the person she was once been:the cheerful girl that i have seen.I felt so bad when i couldn't persuade her to eat,but i think God will help.

I find her a reflection of my past,when i was very ill.But now,i am happy that i got out of the shadow an i also hope that she will also get out of it.

I think the main problems are the common tests and the peer pressure.It cuase people to be less confident of themselves and think negative thoughts.Such as,a joke might be a very critising remark to them.So,if you know know of friends like this you have to be extra careful abt wad u say or you might hurt her.But i feel that doubting urslef affects ur self-esteem as well as causing you to feel confused abt urself.So,we should think positively...

2006-07-29T03:57:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!I'm back:)haha...
this week is such a tiring week for me...i so feel like sleeping...but i think u wanna noe wad happened rite?Let me tell u guys!

MONDAY
-english class.so boring coz mrs ramesh was teaching us the formal writing,when we alrdy did it last term...
-maths class.quite ok...
-boring D&T class.doing isomectric drawing and mindmap...
-choir practice,without sec 4s(donnoe why they didn't come..)

TUESDAY -Literature.oh man,LTL is like teaching us love lesson rather than literaure.This is wad she said,"If a guy is rich but with no ambition,don't get him.BUT,if he's attractive,rich,capable,loves you,then just GRAB HIM!!!" and she ends of with her usual creepy laughter. -Maths.Got back my testpaper,i got 17/20.Too many careless mistakes:( -Geog.oh man..i don't think i wanna talk abt it...

WEDNESDAY
-PE.Yeah!we did drill it was so fun,overall.except the part where Jojo hit the ball on my finger...Ouch
-Had Chapel.It was the best chapel of the year.A singer from Los Ageles came,yeah...Her voice was great,i love the way she sings.The band was kinda good too:),i went to order her CDs in her canteen,and i gave my email so that i could keep up with her albums and stuff.So cool!
-Recess.I ate alot...
-IT.It was ok,but the animated fish is a little difficult to make.In the end,i went on the internet..heehee
-History:).Taught tophonics.learning abt the roads named after people.History is never boring with ms poon")i love her!!!
-Geograhy.The stupid debate,judith was too emmotional.She kept shouting throughout the whole debate thingy...
-Had a survey after that...then we rushed off for a bit of lunch.Then we go for our life science classes.It was so fun,we were doing genetic engineering.We also had a chance to invent our own product that helps the world.....

THURSDAY nothing much la...
FRIDAY -nearly late for assembly because of the choir meeting -HCL.quite ok -played basketball with friends.We won!!! -went back and teased the SJAB ppl -pulled of elizabeth's barade(sorry donnoe how to spell) -elizabeth kicked my butt:( -CHOIR!!!!i hate it....coz we were supposed to go for reharsal but in the end we had choir practice...So idiotic but i think it's kinda fun... OH NO...ABRSM IS ON MONDAY....AhHHHHHHHH

Oh yeah...i took some pics!!!Let me show u one...

2006-06-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!!I updating my blog now...haha...I seroiusly miss Jodie so much she is off to UK,and I can't talk to her.Maybe I would have a good long chat with her after she comes back:)

Oh yeah,I was talking to Zhen just now.She passed her stage drill!congrats to Zhen :)Well,today I'm doing my holiday homework(as usual).I watched the television when my mom went out to buy groceries,cause I was really going to die of boredom.Shiying was asking me if I could go her house the practice for the music marathron.But I got something one so I didn't go.

.It's so boring today.Maybe I should talk abt wad happened on Monday..

I was nearly late for choir coz i missed the bus,I was literally running to the church.But in the end,I wasn't late ...Wasted my energy running.Grr.Then we went upstairs and practiced our ABRSM warmups,then T.T and Instructor came after we finished the first warmup.The third warm up was the worst,coz we kept going out of tune,to be precise,maybe of of tempo.Yeah,and T.T was like say we won't even get a pass for it but instructor was very paitent with us.But for the fourth warmup,we were really doing very badly.So,he ask all of us to do ONE-BY-ONE,I was like OMG,help!!!I was like goosepimpled all over and I was holding on the Carolyn's arm.I was trying to listen to the piano so i could got the notes right.But ths sop1 sang out,so the piano stopped ,it was so distracting.I gave up after much of the stopping and starting.

Instructor started to arrange the sop 1s .The he moved on the the sop2(my secion),I literally turning white already
,I just tried my luck.I sang too slow and went out of breath.Instructor joked that I being tall should have long breaht,HAHA.I became more relaxed and i sang correctly.Phew!Instrutor said our pitch and breath was good.Yeah sop2 roxs!I bet Instrucot was pissed with T.T.

Finally we got to sit down, Carolyn and people talking abt some funny stuff.She talked abt something really funny that i could not stop laughing.Well,i can't say it here,its abit gross...

Oh yeah,i'm starting on a new tution next week,wonder how its like...

I gtg now.Ciao!

hatred fills my heart...

2006-05-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

After i got my report book,i was happy that i improve in some subjects.I only got a A2 for average.And my postiotn is damn low.My mom was not happy with it.Of course I am also not really satisifed,but she made a big din out of it.

Mum:Why is your position so low?

Me:i worked hard for it,I think i did ok.I'm also not satisfied with my marks.

Mum:TELL ME WHY!

Me:I don't know,I worked hard,can't you give me some encouragement?Instead of shouting at me?

Mum:Shut ur mouth up.Abit of improvement don't mean anything to me.Why are u so stupid.You are more stupid than the pig!

Me:Stop it!i wanted to worked hard to improve,why can't u give me an encouragement!

Mum:No way,I'm not going to,and dream off.I will never give encouragement to anyone like u,a failure like u.How am I going to tell my friend abt it?huh?Tell me now!

Me:Stop comparing me with others!I don't like it.

Mum:I don't care,U are just too stupid and i think u can only go to the worst class.

Me:Stop critising me.You mean i didn't work hard i didn't improve?IS THAT WHAT U MEAN?

Mum:YES!

Why?Why must she say all these insulting stuff to me?My hardwork has all gone to waste.Why giving me some encouragement is so difficult?Why?I just need some encouragemet,or just a smile from her?Why must she be so demanding?Can't she find out wad's wrong first?Can't she sit down and talk it out,instead of quarelling with me?

Okay,I'm stupid,I am a idoit.I didn't work hard enough.Yeah...Everything is my fault,all my fault.

2006-05-21T03:23:00.000-07:00

i'm so disappointed.why did i do so badly for my mid year why?you know what i only got an a2 for my overall percentage!!!I bet i will be the last in class,there's so many people better and higher marks...i think i can;t get into the triple science.I could have done better if i worked harder for my maths...i'm so heartbroken about my marks...i want to cry...

2006-05-05T04:18:00.000-07:00

I'm really happie today.There's several reasons :

#1:I passed my higher chinese exam:)
#2:I finished my D&T packaging
#3:the history test quite easy,coz i memorised
#4:I finally finished my D&T draw filing
#5:The common test is ending soon!!!yippee:)

The one and only reason is because:

i just feel so happy like the clouds in the sky.

Even though... I wanted to tell you that...

Stop breaking a heart that has never been whole,i regretted giving my heart to you.Letting you put a deep scar that will never heal...It shall bleed forever...

2006-04-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

today is so sucky.I started the day with NAFA test,i ran 2.4 km and nearly died due of lack of oxygen...i repeat,
nearly,not already...It's also good that i didin't hyperventilate,like the previous time.I was rush through my recess since i spent most of my time lying on the table,trying not to puke.I sat lookling at the floor trying not to puke,i could hardly bulge off my place,i tell you, it's sux when u feel nauseous.Unfortunately,the growling command me to go for recess.i ate some food and drank some ice tea and rush back for CME.

For CME,we changed our sitting arrangements.YAY!!!i'm not sitting with samia!!!Oh yeah,i nearly forgot,there is an addition to our 2A2 family.the new girl Sharmaine will be joining us.She's a pretty nice and cute girl.Praneetha,me and all the ppl at the back row are supposed to tour her around the school tommorrow!!!

WE had eng and math test today...i think i did well for eng test,but not for math:(...i must work even harder for the second test.The eng test was not very difficult ...Phew! I can't wait till thursday!!I'm going out:)...

Thank you for being there for me when i need you...I'm really touched by your selfless love....

2006-04-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

today was the worst day of my life,we had NAFFA today...and before that,i wantd to use the com in the com lab to print my d&t research,when i wanted to go in,i realised that it was occupied.Damn it,in the end i didin't print my research and mrs lim didn't want us to pass up on today(phew)...For NAFFA,i did quite ok...but...not very satisfatory,and zhen yi was very sad and she cried,jodie and all of us tried to comfort her.I hope that she don't get to sad about it...haiz...Zhenyi don't be sad ok?

2006-04-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

i don't know why,i feel so stressed up suddenly...maybe it's because of today's bio practical test.i think that ms sem shouldn't have gave us the test today,it was so sudden...AND WADS MORE IS we had to finish the practical in limited time!Fortunately,i managed to finish the whole practical...BUT...chun jing dirtied the whole counter,dripped water on my paper(smudged it),pour iodine in my egg solution...i hate it!in the end,the choked up sink was cleared up by me and judith...yuck,damn disgusting

2006-04-12T03:22:00.000-07:00

i hate this...tomorrow is NAFFA...I HATE IT MAN,I WANNA DIE

2006-03-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

Today is worst day in this whle week...guess wad?i had art lessons today.i was sitting at the computer,listening to mr-leow-the-great,talking crap...lol...don't know impressionisium thingy...i nearly doze off while listening to him.i bet everyone were like that...then he taught us how to cut out pictures and blah blah blah...oh man...he teach so fast and valerie and i can't catch what he was saying.wad the hell...damn it.can't he make the lesson more fun or something?hopeless...
i rather have a DnT...just sit ther and stone...haha...
For bio,i was copying all the notes like mad,i didn;t even listen to the teacher...haha...

it' s a toture for me to love you,remember you,i hope i could just forget about you and start afresh...why can't i just forget you?i heart is already broken..no matter what you do,you can't heal the deep scar you made in my heart...why am i so stupid?my heart aches whenever i see you...

happy:))

2006-03-08T02:59:00.000-08:00

i'm quite dissapointed with my results...VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED...
i'm very pissed myself and i knew i could have done better,much better than the results now...i should have worked harder...for maths,i could have gotten a better mark,though it's quite good.English?haha...i was a total failure,i could have gotten better for english if i did well for my compos,the compo marks pulled down my average marks for english...sigh...For hcl,it's also quite disappointing,i didn't manage to top the class for hcl...weiting won me by 1 mark...most importantly,it wasn't a A1,it was a A2 and i'm already scolded by my mom,she thinks the marks for hcl was disappointing...For D&T,i could have done better if i out in the evaluation and did more research on the things,i could have gotten a B3...For art,i'm already very hopeless,but this time round i got a b4!i'm quite happy about that...

i'm quite happy for my science marks,coz it;s a little surprising for me...i didn;t study for this test at all...seriuosly,i just read the notes and...end of story.i didn't expect myslef to do well for science...history was good and geog was also equally good...i'm quite contented with my marks if only i did well for my english and the subjects stated above...I must work really hard next term,in order to balance my english results to a A1(i hope i could get a A1)
other then that...i think it's ok...i will try to be more hardworking and more innovaive and creative(for art and dnt).

i'm also happy today because it's my dad's birthday,and i was happy with my overall marks(average i mean),yupps...and my long lost friend from my primary school called my to inform me of the gathering.i'm looking forward to it.jodie also told me abt going to her house to finish the project during the holidaes...wow,such a busy holiday...i hope my ex-classmates from my primary school are coming to the gathering:))...i miss them so much<3...hmm,i heard that josh hartnett's movie will be coming out soon!hooray:))...i think today is the happiest day of my life...i think so...*grinning from ear to ear*...coz amber lilac called me:))))...

love is a history of women,but a episode in men's-Rachelle Rebekah...

2006-03-05T03:34:00.000-08:00

heyy peeps!sorry for not updating regularly...coz there's something happening in school and other matters.i hope that you all don't mind...i felt so tired after yesterday and the zoo trail and treasure hunt with acsb...so tiring...
but overall,it was ok...except for the running.coz my legs are aching today,i think it's a muscle ache.my legs are so numb and i have cramps today...the after effects of running to much,i think...i came late for tution...haiz and i also forgot to ask for the notes...sigh...don't know what to do ...so tired...i don't feel like wirting,can't think of anymore...

blogging at school

2006-02-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

hiya,i'm back(:haha...i got back some of my results and ONLY some of the resulys are above my target...*sighs*.nvm i will try and get better results this term.I'm really happy abt my geog,history and hcl results coz it's either A1s or A2s(:i havent got my my maths,science...i wish the teacher will give us back by this thursday or friday.

I was having a really bad sore throat yesterday,worse come to worse,my literature presentation is smack on that day! I was so desperatly trying to speak louder(luckily there was voice coming out)...the teacher gave me 71% for content and 68% for presentation.Then she was asking abt the girl who have sore throat on mon.which was me...haha...after she knew abt it she gave me another extra one mark...yay!!

the sad thing is,when huiling came back frm english class,she was very feverish...:( mrs ramesh asked her to rest in the sick bay.I told jasylnn that she's not well and asked her to inform the maths teacher...then later amnada had teary eyes and was alos very sick...haiz...i brought her to the sick bay where all the others were...tehn the form teacher called both their parents to fetch them home...and I HAVE TO PACK BOTH HUILING AND AMANDA'S BAGS...huiling's bag was sooo heavy...

i think they contracted the flu from me...i feel so bad:( sry huiling and amanda...i'm going to pray for them during cell group later...I'm the first one in our clique to contract the flu,i think...but i realised that this year is like the so-called "fever and flu" year/month,coz so many ppl getting sick this year and poor tiffany must take care of them,coz esther don't do anything...i think mine is the worst,i got 2 flus in one month,hyper-ventelation(i rarely have it)...haiz...now tiffany don't dare to agitate me coz she's afraid that i hyper-ventalate again...lame...

i pray that i will pass with flying colours for my english...ok ALL THE SUBJECTS...
I REALLY HOPE...

i love your smile,your laughter,i will everything you gave me,all the love and sweet memories...but now you and me had changed,i think it's time to forget you,but i will remember the memories you gave...goodbye

2006-02-23T02:11:00.000-08:00

heyys...i'm back(:...from my ENT checkup...:)haha.yesterday we had PE,the teacher ask us to run abt 7 rounds...but donnoe why after PE,ny chest was so pain then started breathing very hard...tiffany kept asking me to cup my mouth but i don't understandthen made everyone so worried abt me...sorry zhenyu and jodie...didn't mean to make you both cry so sorry...but the whole day was nice except fot that 35 mins...i will recover soon ...don't worry...

common test is ending soon!!!:)

2006-02-21T00:55:00.000-08:00

sorry for not posting for so many days,i was banned from my computer by my mom.So sad...the main reason was because i had common tests for this whole week.that's why my mom didn't allow me to go online.i feel so tired these few days,coz i had not enough sleep for so many days*yawns*...tmr i will be having sciene test and it would alos be the last test:)...so happy...i'm still deciding if i should go for the zoo trail thing...i think i should ask A abt it.today we had maths test...and luckily,i managed to finish all the questions:)..and i also got back my HCL paper...did not so well,not up to expectation...mom is gonna kill me...oh no...but i score quite well in my geog test hope i did well for all the other tests...

de runawae gurl
~rachelle~

2006-02-16T01:49:00.000-08:00

Today, we had history test...i was crazily memorising the whole textbook on wednesday...in case i miss out something...When i went to school today,i went straight to my desk and start to memorise all the concepts for section A...tests suck...i wasted so much of my brain cells memorising and writing down all the notes.In the end,only a few things came out...i hate that!!nvm...For art,the art teacher kept talking rubbish.he said this was to 'entertain' us .*rolls eyes* whatever lorrx...I went for the UK literature trip briefing and i felt very interested in it...but the teacher in charge said that the proirity goes to the sec 3s..aww...so sad.i hope i could go...when i went back home,mom kept nagging at me,asking me to do this do that...haiz...nvm...hope i could tolerate her for the time being.today i went for tution...i met someone i don't want to see,so unlucky.i hope that tmr i would have a good day ....i really hope that....
josh hartnett rawks:)

hi everyone...

2006-02-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

heyy...i just made my blog, nice rite?(:.i noe i had been trying to make a blog,but i got not time...aniwae,i have to thank esther for her helping me with my blog...i'm a newbie k...I have been sobusy this few months as there's so much tests coming up...but i still love my life as it is...i'm postive kay...anyway...happy valentine's day....
kim sung soo n amber lilac rocks.....

byes...gtg(: