Today was overall alright woke up at 9 to get ready to go to school at 11. I have no idea why i woke up so early as well. I stoned for 10 mins on my bed before I really woked up. Brushed my teeth and eat breakfast at snails speed my head was still spinning from talking on the phone till 3 in the morning. Just randomly picked some clothes and put them on without even noticing the color was so gross. It looked like I was wearing some seaweed on me. But anyway, i realised it when i board the bus. Too late. I wish i had a jacket to cover up. I didn't comb my hair again!I didn't bother to comb my hair since it doesn't tangle much. (YES LAZY ME,but i normally don't even comb it HAHA)

It started raining even before I reached school. Waited for Rachel darlin cos she was late. We went to the LT tgt and she fell down on the stairs! Poor girl! Then we just sat there for the briefing and talked about random stuff. She knocked against my head twice lols hazardous Rachel. Then we got spilt into our groups and discussed on stuffs... BLAH BLAH BLAH About 30-45 mins later we could go home!
I made friends with one of the girls in my group. She's vanessa(:
She funny and nice and cute. We kept talking during the bus ride. Seems like I won't feel left out in my group afterall. Went to bishan to buy my usual stationaries. I kept spacing out cos I had some inspiration in the POPULAR in bishan but i didn't bring my pen or notebook. DARN IT!

Everything was going on fine until I saw him. His face and his eyes.
I turned my head away,hoping that he didn't see me. It was a beautiful day until I saw him.

I went home trying to recall what my inspirations and I started to write them. But halfway through his face flashed into my mind. Feeling irritated, I threw my book to the corner and try to recover my thoughts. It didn't work. Shit. Thats bad.

Went out to Orchard Ion alone because I missed my date with Belle,partly also to sort out my thoughts and do some shopping to distract myself. It didn't work. The crowd only made me more irritable and agitated. I nearly walked out of the shop without paying for the shirt i didn't even want to buy. The jumpsuit i wanted to buy was too big for me.

Giving up because of the long queue I went to Hilfiger because there was less/nobody inside. Didn't find the shirt I wanted. In the end I went to Artbox, thinking that no one would go there. At first there were only a few people but when i walked in other people started to swarm in. Maybe I am at the wrong place at the wrong time. It friday anyway, the crowd should be normal, I guess? Bought 2 notebooks for future intellectual investment. Since my now notebook is about to finish.

Sat at Starbucks and stare at couples holding hands while I spaced out again into my own world. Writing random anti-love phrases on my notebook. I got a brainfreeze from the frap and decided I should start walking again. Went to ZARA the shoes I wanted was gone. I wanted a cheap loafer. But don't know where to get it.

Bought CLEO mag on the way home because I didn't see any ELLE or VOGUE. I sat down on my chair. Thinking that going to ION was a good distraction after all, but it wasn't because I still have the urge to cry. Is it because I feel lonely inside or is it because of him I don't exactly know. Maybe its both.

I have never been so emmotional. Even when I saw him previous times.
But today, looking at him just makes my heart ache. I tried so hard to forget, yet the very moment he smiles at me, everything just come swarming back.
His smile is just like a dagger,stabbing deep deep down into my already wounded heart.
Why is this happening to me? If liking someone was this painful like the last time,i really regret doing such a stupid thing. Again.

Seems like i haven't learnt from my other lessons.
Dont' ask me for another chance, because I gave you a chance and you threw it away. Don't tell me that you love me anymore. I don't believe in you, or your words anymore. It hurts so much just to hear to talk. So please go away and stop my misery.

You were just a dream, it happened so suddenly and beautifully.
It was all an illusion. When the beautiful veil was taken off, you were just a nightmare.
You were cruel and heartless, I don't know if I should believe in you once again.
Oh Love, what a vicious drug. Stop killing my heart. I don't want to believe in you anymore.
Until you prove to me you are beautiful and harmless.

Listening to " Last Dance" by Nina really makes me want to cry. Somehow the lyrics speaks my mind right now at this moment. I have a tendency to listen to sad songs. But this one was... I don't really know how to tell you...The truth really hurts, but its better than the lie... Maybe I should stop talking about it. I need to distract myself and not cry. whats wrong with me today? My heart and brain is dysfunctioning. I need some sugar. NOW.

It doesn't matter anymore. I just need sleep and more rock music.

i wish everything could start from the beginning