If you give them the chance.

don't sell your heart,

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Now here am i sitiing here asking shiying and jodie to tag/flood my blog.But here they are,flooding my blog full of mr *sniff sniff* likes me!!!Wad the...I just feel like killing them now.they nearly made me cry.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Ok now shiying is tagging jojo's blog,asking everyone to go to my blog...how nice.i just donnoe wad to do now...

Oh yeah,today i got back my results.It was really bad.I only got 74.9 for average!!!0.1 marks to A1. So low!!!!Now here am i sitting here to reflect on my blunder(being so stupid).I just feel like hitting my head on the wall.
Look at my results:English -B3
Science -A1
.......................................i don want to say anymore....It's just disappointing.

If I analysed my results one by one.Though there was a big improvement for my math and englsih.but i am really not satisfied.For HCL,i didn't managed to clinch the top....I just feel so irritated and i have set my mind to work SUPER DUPER HARD FOR MY HIGHER CHINESE!!!soooo stressed up now.

Anyway,just now charmaine was showing me,jojo,esther some horny and sick emails she got from her U.K friends.Ewwww,disgusting.Then,here am i having a cat fight with esther coz i slapped her face due my boredemess...hahah.

I gtg for phototaking soon.I just wanted a comb to comb my hair and Charmaine and Jodie is saying that i am so vain!!!!I am not VAIN.I just needed a comb to comb my hair coz my hair looks like a LIONHEAD now....I really feel like washing my hair right now.It is so sticky...but nvm....

Ok i think i better do my geograhphy homework now...

I also found out my name ,Rachelle,means Little lamb.So cool!!!i am a lamb hahaha...lol

I hate you for loving me and making me love you,it is such a painful process.But now i have freedom and i shall live alone in the dark,without ur love.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Seriously,i really feel like cursing someone right now.But,I don think i have the right to do anything as it is my own fault.Actually,it's both people's fault.Guess what?I got back my geography paper,and found out that i only get 17/25 for my geog.How nice.

Besides blaming myself for being so careless,i find that it was also someone's fault.SOMEONE.If she did teach us our geography instead of crapping about what she did in other countries,i think we could have gotten a better mark,really.I am not trying to blame anyone about anything,but only if she would understand.When i got back my paper,a gush of feelings just came flowing out,both anger and guilt.I feel angry because she didn't teach us what is supposed to be tested.She only taught us the bearings A DAY BEFORE THE EXAM!!!Okay,maybe I am being to emmotional.I think I should also blame myself,for being so careless and ignorant in everything....

This week wasn't a very great week for me cause I have been feeling very uncomfortable.I told my parents about it and they advised me to rest.I did but i still came to school.I really don't know what's happening to me right now,i am feeling very tired right now.Is it because I am being too paranoid or am i really having a flu?I seriously don't know.I hope I am not sick...I am scared that Dad will bring me to go for checkup.I don't want checkups,i don't want the tube going into my throat and everything.It seem like i am really ill,maybe I had bronchitis or something.I don't feel good.I felt thinner and thinner everyday,I can see my ribcage alrdy.I don't know,everytime i eat food,I feel like puking...Maybe I ate too much?Actually i also donnoe...haha.I was aneresic before,i am just scared it would come back to me again.I don't want to live in the shadows of my past...I don't want it to come back to me...

Okay,let's talk abt something else.Have you ever felt this before?You feel rejected and living in the world of your own?there are one friends from my class that have this problem.(I don't mean to point out any individuals).I have a frined that sank into a very deep depression,she created a blog to show her true self.Though i see her as a cheerful girl from the outside.I know that she wasn't happy about herslf,though she was trying to be cheerful,depression seem to take over her,being in charge of her mind.

I saw her writing depressed phrases in her notebook.Initially,i thought it was just merely for fun,until i heard and saw her playing with penknife and saying that she want to cut herslef.I really hope that she doesn't do anything stupid,coz when i was on MSN yesterday,she told me she haven't been eating for 35 hrs!I was shocked but couldn't do anything but tell her to eat,she didn't listen to me,but i prayed hard that lord will give her the strength to be the person she was once been:the cheerful girl that i have seen.I felt so bad when i couldn't persuade her to eat,but i think God will help.

I find her a reflection of my past,when i was very ill.But now,i am happy that i got out of the shadow an i also hope that she will also get out of it.

I think the main problems are the common tests and the peer pressure.It cuase people to be less confident of themselves and think negative thoughts.Such as,a joke might be a very critising remark to them.So,if you know know of friends like this you have to be extra careful abt wad u say or you might hurt her.But i feel that doubting urslef affects ur self-esteem as well as causing you to feel confused abt urself.So,we should think positively...

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Just me

Hello,Rachelle here (: Music is the love and I can't live without it because I'd lose my head. I like dark colors like blue and black.I love to space out and think about random stuff I love the rain because thats the best weather for me to sleep and snuggle on my bed. I love eating ice cream but am not a fan of strawberry cakes or homework. I wish I could find true love, but i don't believe in true love. Ironic isn't it? I do random lyrics writitng and stories. So please ignore me when I space out. It happens alot(: And please never ask me to dance. I will kill you.
PLMGSS
1A2-2A2.3A1-4A1
PLonevoice
Seventeen
Archer House
orelinde_rachelle@hotmail.com
07081992
Ngee Ann Polytechnic

don't say we're not meant to be.